Most people cherish gift-giving, whether giving or receiving them. Gifts –wrapped in lovely packages that contain nice things for others – are special not only because of the joy they can bring others, but also because of the joy they can bring you.

What are we talking about?

In the context of negotiations, we’re talking about give and take.

But we’re not talking about the “give and take” where you see how much you can get and how little you can give while I do the same. That kind of give and take feels less like gift giving and more like a battle of wills.

No, we’re talking about something very different. We’re talking about the give and take that comes from crafting a negotiated “package” that maximizes the benefits for each of us while minimizing the costs to each of us. Many people call this a “win-win” approach to negotiation. I call it effective negotiating.

What makes negotiating a package effective negotiating?

Let’s take a look.

The Benefits of Negotiating a Package

First, when you negotiate a package—rather than negotiating each issue in isolation and getting stuck in that battle of wills—you give yourself flexibility at all times during the negotiation. Why is this? Because when you negotiate a package, you are never negotiating only one issue in isolation; you are negotiating that issue in the broader context of the comprehensive package that includes all the issues you and your negotiating counterpart care about. For example, if you get stuck on price, you are not negotiating price in isolation from the other issues you care about, such as timing or risk; if you decide to change the price, you can also “go back” and adjust those other issues in your package to comport with the new price. This gives you flexibility that can help you avoid both impasse and the damage to relationships that generally accompanies the threat of impasse.

Second, when you negotiate a package, you can present most effectively to your negotiating counterparts how your offer will satisfy their interests. That is, you can sell the benefits of your proposal by emphasizing first all components of your proposal that most effectively satisfy the interests of your negotiation counterparts. Than, rather than get stuck on any aspect of your proposal that your negotiation counterparts may not like, you can emphasize how the overall package does indeed satisfy your counterparts’ interests

Third, when you negotiate a package, you preserve for yourself greater flexibility to adjust the package to incorporate even some things that you do not like since the overall package will still satisfy your interests effectively. This point is related to the two above, but it goes to your own decision-making (and not just your attempts to influence the decision-making of your negotiation counterparts). In sum, you can evaluate how a given package will impact your overall interests, weighted most heavily to your critical interests. This enables you to make sound decisions in complex, high stakes negotiations with many moving parts.

Establish a Unilateral Ground Rule that Allows You to Negotiate a Package

If possible, encourage your negotiating counterparts to think about all issues in the negotiation as a package. If they go along with that suggestion, great. If not, then you can always impose a unilateral ground rule. How do you do this? It’s simple. Just say, “We have no agreement on anything until we have agreement on everything.”

You can say this calmly and politely, but always be firm about it. You are not asking your negotiation counterpart’s permission. You are establishing a unilateral ground rule for the negotiation. And the effect of this ground rule is to ensure that you are always negotiating a package—whether your negotiation counterparts want to negotiate that way or not.

Why is this unilateral ground rule so effective? Because, as noted above, if you get stuck on any one issue, you can “re-open” other issues to adjust the package. If your negotiation counterparts object that the issue you seek to “re-open” has already been agreed upon, you can refer to that handy ground rule and say, “There may have been a misunderstanding. As I mentioned before, we have no agreement on any one issue unless we have agreement on the whole package.” No matter how much bluster and protest you may receive from your negotiation counterparts, they cannot force you to give in. And in my experience, sooner or later, your counterparts will get back to negotiating in the hopes they can preserve what they like about the package in an effort to get the best deal they can.