Ask Alignor

What should I do if someone says one thing but does another?

It can be very frustrating when people do not keep their commitments, or when they act in a manner inconsistent with their words. If this happens once or twice, it can be important to ask about the inconsistency. That may help clear up any misunderstandings and alert the other person that you are aware of the inconsistency. If the inconsistency continues, however, you may have to consider whether to impose consequences on the other person. You should consider informing the other person of your intent to impose consequences so they have an opportunity to correct their errant behavior before you have to impose the consequences. Finally, if you decide to impose consequences, you should do so in a thoughtful, strategic manner that considers how your interests will be affected by your imposing consequences and how others may respond now and in the future.